The Stream

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8.07.2025

i've finally tracked down who the owner of the philippine ethnolinguistic warbor 2044 facebook account is. lately i've been interested in how many grand simulation, rts, etc games are based around conquest, fantasy, domination, continuous rebirth — i am thinking of dwarf fortress, caves of qud, the sims series, or even the 'create everything' mentality from factorio to universal paperclips to ksp; i don't want to subsume them all into a "male gazey" category, because many of these games can be played in a way that is very domestic: the state of maintenance & passivity rather than aggression is often harder to achieve (and is endgame)

for the past months i've just been upfront with how many of my projects explode into the idea to make a whole world simulation (or always try to approximate a complex world), so now i am embarking on two large projects that try to be self-making.

one is continuing whenwe.love, which i've recently given a better homepage — truly working on the dating simulator aspect of it. i like how worlds like neopets are incredibly disjointed. i like websites that are labyrinthine, fragmented, and have a lot of dead ends and decayed pieces. i think there is more life than people think when these edges exist in a work

4.23.2025

im roaming through highways in cavite; rocks don't hold memories to me, but the dust that settles on them do

how much time do i have left in san francisco?

Next week I turn 25. the world has been very cruel to me and life gets harder every single day. often times i feel trapped, wake up with the weight of countries on my back, and hold a lot of guilt about failing everyone/everything that i have known and have yet to know. i present and read naive, i talk like i know nothing, i am frustrated by everything that comes out of my body — the impossibility to cleanly articulate, define, or become even a modicum of the thing that i could have become. as the distance between my body and mind grows, I feel a greater distancing from the world and my capability.